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Nero fiddled while Rome burned

  • What is it to be a “good human“?
  • And… does being a “good human” relate to happiness?
  • Does the ability to empathize with another make one a good human?
  • Does the ability to be all that one can be, without “distraction” make one happy?

… Is there modernation or a “Golden Middle” in every situation, or is MORE always BETTER?

8 ways dating and relationships may look different by 2040

We live in a global society that “preaches” more and more that be “happy” with yourself first before you look for someone else to see the “specialness” of you.

On the surface that sounds like great advice, but maybe there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing?”  Or maybe ear-pleasing idea is actually “folk or pseudo-wisdom”…

(You Don’t Need to Love Yourself First, To Love Someone, Do You Really Need to Love Yourself First?)

But maybe we should ask another question – should anyone truly be COMPLETELY happy with oneself?

Think about it. What motivates us to improve?

It’s the feeling that we are lacking something, is it not?

There is a difference between

  • thinking that someone else will make you whole;
  • having a healthy understanding that you are the type of person, who you can be proud of; and
  • believing that basically “you can do no wrong” and doing whatever comes to mind as if you are omniscient and all your thoughts and impulses are completely righteous…


When did a relationship morph from the idea of two people working together to support and helping each other… to two people being the embodiment of each other’s ultimate fantasies?

And… we need to question if the “soulmate” concept is actually a healthy one.

(Desperately Seeking Soulmate? Please, Stop AlreadySoulmate Love and Authentic, Egoless Relationship)

Are you perfect? If you have already decided that you are you don’t need to read any further, all-knowing Mother or Father.

The rest of this blog is for us of mere mortal stock…

In the current day, we believe that we can have a person “made to our order” aka soulmate.  With our preponderance of choices surely there is someone out there, who will accept me, “warts and all” (and will never demand that I fix my bad habits either or my sometimes overcritical nature, etc…)


Now, image that in the not so distance future pharmaceutical companies create a drug (specific for you) called “Perfect Partner”.

This drug can give you the exact same feeling as you would have if you meet the person from your fantasies – and it would feel this way every time!  Image what kind of monetary profits this company would rake in!

OMG – No more “I’m tired” or “I have a headache”!  Just pop a pill and every time it’s Romantic City!

A Dream Come TRUE!!!


  • You can watch that ballgame every time, with no nagging!
  • Go out drinking with your friends, without having to listen to “you’re friends mean more than me” speech!
  • You can still let the hurtful words slip that offend those closest to you!
  • You can pursuit with so much less guilt in ignoring your children!


  • You won’t have deal with his ignoring your requests to put the toilet seat down!
  • You can pursue your hobbies, without his untimely interruptions when he’s in the mood!
  • You can continue to obsessively try to control every aspect of the lives of thoses closest to you!
  • You can continue to say just the right hurtful phrases that cut your children to the bone!

“Maybe (a relationships gives us something that) doesn’t come from a store. Maybe (a relationship) perhaps… means a little bit more!”

(Maybe there are some benefits of, Dare I Say “being dependent” on other people… What’s Wrong With Being Independent)

Is it possible that relationships actually serve more of a purpose of making us better human beings, through that complex and messy process of learning how to relate to someone who actually requires you to bend sometimes?

Is it possible that relationships are more than a hedonistic pursuit of establishing “the self”?


Otherwise, bring on technology! Replace a real person, with robots, drugs, and dwelling strictly within the confines of our fantasies. It’s all about “self-development” and (an effortless) self-actualization.


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So as we as a society stride confidently and boldly into a more Narcissism and Epicurean, strike a lively tune as a praise and tribute to SELF!  While threads that once formed the tapestry burn all around us… Creating something of such elaborness requires much too effort anyways…