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Reason 1:  I hate being “obligated” to give a gift to someone special.  I have a big heart and I love giving gifts and doing things that make others feel happy… Special gift giving days, for me, are only a way to show “everybody” else besides my someone special that I care.  It’s a “show.”  Genuine affection doesn’t come from external sources – the social pressure of a holiday, but from an internal desire to make someone else feel good.

Reason 2:  It reminds single people, especially those who really want to be in a relationship, that we are single (… and alone).  I feel that there is much social “criticizism” that says… basically if a person is “single” it is his fault or her fault.

He is single…

  • Self-centered
  • Too picky
  • Stuck in her ways

Of course a little bit of logic would show you that this perception is faulty.  Look around, there are many people in relationships who are “egotistical”, “perfectionistic” and “stubborn”

Then there are people, who are single (and not sworn to a vow of celibacy), who continously focus on the needs of others, are looking simply for someone who will appreciate him or her, and are dedicated to trying to be understanding and adjust to the needs of others…

 

My own personal story is this…

I work with children and often have put their needs (and sometimes even their wants) before my own.  When I have been in relationships, I have always tried to make my girlfriend feel special.  I have respected myself, by not simply capitulating to each and every request, but if I could do something to make her happy I did.  Additionally, I constantly am reevaluating my personal values… I have changed (and even reversed) my opinion of many things over the years.  (I would even go as far as saying my value system is composed of the what I have found to be the best and most true values of many social systems), and although chronologically, I am “middle-aged”, I feel and act and my activity level and my optimism is that of someone many years younger…

So Valentine’s Day is both a day of superfluous demonstration…

and a cruel reminder that life is not fair!

 

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