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WARNING… I’m going to use Gender Stereotypes in this piece and this relates to heterosexual relationships

What Is ROMANCE?

The things that we stereotypically associate with romance…

  • Buying gifts / flowers
  • Preparing special meals
  • Creative dates
  • etc.

Man’s Point of View:  ROMANCE, in of itself, Does Not Add Much Value
I see as the vast majority of times as something that gives great pleasure mostly to women.
Many, if not most men, have been socialized to either wanting few things or buying whatever they really want themselves.
Men, do like special meals, but here I will use myself as the standard, frequent timely meal (after I return home for example) is much more appreciated that a “surprise” special one.
As for creative dates… I think most men are happy if they know where the date will end up…

What Is INTIMANCY?

Intimancy involves a deep friendship.  It involves trust, a feeling of acceptance.  If someone asked me which would I prefer…

  • To feel SPECIAL or UNIQUE
  • To feel ACCEPTED

I would definitely choose ACCEPTED.

I believe that I have a strong sense of “SELF.”  It would be quite hard to convince me that I’m not “special” or “unique.”
But “acceptance” requires the judgement (the feelings) of another.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

REVERSAL OF THE LOGICAL – Romance Leads To Intimancy

I don’t know if such days ever existed, but what ever happened to the idea that

You Should Marriage Your BEST FRIEND

In non-romantic relationships, people don’t give great gifts, make huge efforts to show appreciation for another… when they first meet.

I recently took a guy friend of mine out to an expensive restaraunt for his birthday.  He was my former roommate and we have a long history together (including a disagreement or two).  He a grown over the years to be a guy that I know I can count on, not only for good advice, but practical help…

When I put a lot of effort into showing my appreciation for him, it seems natural.  But if I did it on the first days after we met, he would probably think I have some mental problems…

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BUT for some reason, in romantic relationships —> ROMANCE becomes the focus!!!

Shouldn’t “romance” and “romantic actions” spring forth as an EXPRESSION of appreciation for the Wonderful person that you KNOW the other to be?

It seems to me people, who INSIST on this way of relating, must NOT be SELF-CONFIDENT.

Only the insecure, need CONSTANT reassurance (and crave it more and more…)

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As for me when someone “REJECTS” me, I believe that it’s because that person does ACTUALLY KNOW the person, who I am.

If she KNEW WHO I AM, she would want to keep me as at least a friend, because I am an “Interesting” person…

She simply for some reason, didn’t want to spend the time/effort to know me.

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Personally, I am much more impressed when someone demonstrates that she has “paid attention” to the details I told her then when she simply compliments me.

Of course, I like it when someone gives me a compliment like tellling me that I am “attractive”… but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE it, when someone says something like:

the other day, when you said / did / told me… it shows me that you are…

I’m floored! when I hear comments like that.

It tells me that the other person, isn’t just interested, how I make her feel, or how cool/secure/… she will feel with me..
but she actually wants to understand who I am (not just what I represent.)

(It’s NOT “All About Her.”)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

WHAT LOVE SHOULD BE

Love (and romantic feelings) should surge forth from deep inside…

so it requires that two people have an intimate knowledge of one another…

and they can be unguarded and unclothed before each other…

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I believe that people should seek INTIMANCY and not ROMANCE…
If you are INTIMATE with a good person, a GIVING person, he or she will be motivated by the intimancy to express the gladness having known a Wonderful person as you INTIMATELY…

Which Is A GIFT only YOU Can Give To Another…

Such ROMANCE Is Genuine… It Is From ANOTHER’S HEART…

It’s not flattery to get into your pants…
It’s not a request for your time and attention… (to feed you’re ego…)

It is an HONEST Expression of Appreciation of the Person, who YOU Are

The BEST Romance In The World!!! 🙂

It is the REQUIRED basis for the Relationships EVERYONE (secretly) Dreams of…

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