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Often I think in my post I come across as a “Killjoy”…

Love and Relationships are all about:

❤ Romance!

❤ Fun!

❤ Estatic Feelings!!!!

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It’s not that I disagree with these ideas.  Indeed relationships should have plenty of romance, fun and estatic feelings… but

Life (fortunately or unfortunately) is not all “Fun And Games”…

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Why Do I Focus On The “Bad?”

Because it’s EASY to feel “in love” with someone when everything is Going Right!

I take it as a “given”, as automatic that I will feel affectionate towards someone else, when we are doing some interesting or exciting activity (a walk, dinner in a restaraunt, a kiss…)

The true “Test” is when the couple are in a STRESSFUL situation.

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The Travel Test

Recently, I spent the majority of 6 full days (24 hours) with the girl, who has become my new girlfriend.  My first “challenge” came when I had to purchase tickets for the trip.  Because of problems with my credit card, it took me about 3 – 4 hours to find a way to buy the tickets.  In the end, I had to pay for them with my “trip” money and then have my parent wire me money from the States (which I had in a bank account, but was unable to access online…)

I arrived in Chisinau only a few hours before my then friend, was supposed to arrive.  I had to pick up the wire transfer, go to the hotel and drop off my luggage, and then rush to the airport…. Only later to find out that her flight was two and a half hours late.

When we finally met, we were both so exhausted that all we wanted to do was sleep.

Later, we did go out into the city and have a nice dinner.  Things seemed to be going “dreamy” for a while.  Unfortunately, a day or two later she got sick, which meant that instead of going out into the town, we had to revise our plans and stay in…

And there are more little “stressers” that happened during our first meeting.

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AGAIN…

I want to focus on the “Bad” because I know that all of the ‘romantic’ activities, were indeed pleasant.

Overall, I enjoyed this trip.  Immensely enjoyed this trip.  I immensely enjoyed meeting her…

But because this trip was not all “ROSES,” what I understood is that we could both work with each other in stressful situations.

I found out that I could talk to her… honestly.  I could tell her my thought process… which then allowed me to eventually feel comfortable to reveal more and more my feelings…

Relationships for me have never really been about finding someone who is endlessly “fun”… but rather to find someone with whom I can honestly talk to… someone who I could honestly communicate my ideas (and feelings).

Someone who will be a partner in life… not just looking for the next emotional (drug) hit.

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PLAYING “NICE”

Too often, I think dating is more like entertaining.  A person focuses on acting in such a way that he or she is liked…

BUT… all too often it’s only an act.  There are 168 hours in a week.  How many of those hours do you spend together with a person, who you are “dating?”  Maybe 48 (2 days) if your lucky, but most of us are so “busy” that we are luck to get 24 (1 day).  Of course, we have SMS, social network and the telephone as means of communication, but it’s so easy to “be our best” during these less “invasive” forms of communication.

During a trip, you can see – the good, the bad and the ugly about another person…

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For The Record

I know that there is not a 100% reliable way to know someone else, besides actually spending a lot of time with another person (more than even 6 straight days).  But, one thing I have understood in this fast-paced world that we currently live in, is that all too often, we really don’t “have time” to truly learn about another person…

In such a world, the “Trip Test” seems like a great way for two people to really get a good feel for the type of people they both truly are.

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