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One of the biggest and most tragic assumptions that we have in the modern world is that human beings naturally know how to relate to each other.

We each have a deep ingrained desire to relate to each other, and most of us, specifically with the opposite sex, but desire doesn’t intuitively translate into success.

(Evidence of humanities failure abound… divorce rates, multitude of relational books, depressed men and women, etc.)

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Yet we persist in the idea that love and romance is “natural.”  I don’t think that knowing how to love and relate is “natural.”  I think it is a

  • Skill That Must Be Learned

All of us human beings, men and women, members of different cultures and communities share the SAME basic EMOTIONS…

We can understand the emotions of other people, even if only to react to them.

We have the ability express ideas and to receive the expressions of others.

But our problems lie in knowing

  • how (when, where, …) to clearly and honestly express ourselves to others…
  • how to correctly hear and interpret the signals and expressions others give us…

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NOW FOR “STRAIGHT TALK”  (Which also applies to me…)

“If you have problems finding and being in a successful relationship… the problem is not others (men or women), the problem is you!”

It’s easy to blame

  • “all guys”
  • “all girls”

It’s easy to say

  • “I just need to find the perfect person to relation to ME!”

BUT the REAL Solution Is

  • YOU Need To Take The Responsibility To Learn How To Relate (And relating includes meeting members of the opposite sex)

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I’ve spent the last few years trying increase the amount of women that I interact with… If the solution was simply encountering more women, then by now, I should have easily found my “soulmate.”

Now… I could grasp the platitudes of society, which says that “Love will find you, when you ‘least expect it…’ or ‘stop looking’, etc.”

And only to end up with status quo of a instant emotional high at the begining of a relationship, followed by either years of struggle or an eventual separation…

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Now – Concerning The Title…

I’ve come to realize that Pickup Artist, actually are not “bad.”

They are men (and a small minority of women), who have realized that the status quo of “just waiting” isn’t working.

Almost all of us, men and women start off with dreams of happy well adjusted relationships.  But somewhere along the way, as we grow up, we “lose” something in our ability to communicate with the opposite gender.

Although, their goals vary… some are mostly selfish, seeking self-gratification, some are frustrated, some feel ineffectual, etc… pick up artist learn how to communicate with the opposite gender and overall about communication in general.

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Concerning the male pickup artists, I’ve learned that they are not all the stereotypical, “a woman is a sexual object, and I’ll use her to satisfy my needs…” type of guys.

I despise guys who think that the more women they sleep with, the better guy they are.  I also dislike the guys, think the hotter the girl is, the more valuable she is.

But many pickup artists are or later become more socially well adjusted.  They communicate with many members with the opposite sex.  Male pickup artist learn how to make women feel comfortable in their presence and allow them to feel comfortable opening up…

If a person is decent and is able to see other people as “like me,” he will not abuse the openness and trust he creates.  He will feel a certain obligation to not harm another person…

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As for now, I’m continuing my research… I’ve spent years looking for someone, I can spend a few more months (maybe years) learning concepts, trying actions in order to learn how to better relate to people and the opposite sex.

Thoughout all of this, I will need to monitor myself to make sure that I don’t violate any of my personal values (about how to treat others), as I stretch my own ideas about how to communicate and relate with women.

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