What is Love? What’s its purpose? (Love)Serves a function. It binds people together. It is (supposed to be) the basis for which human beings create a stable environment for the care of offspring. Although love has a biological function and therefore a strong biological imperative, it is so integral to our psyches that it feels like (and one may say it is) a need. (Personally for me it’s a mute point… Whether it’s essential or not… I see that it will only bring benefit and won’t result in worsening my life… therefore I believe it should be pursued – needed or not) But the role of love has evolved… in a societal context. Love and relationships in the past used to serve a secondary role of cementing community ties. In so many societies, the of unity and designation of a couple is steeped in ceremonial traditions. This anthropological evidence shows that relationships used to be deem extremely important not just for the couple, but for the greater community. (POST) MODERN SOCIETY In modern society, love and relationships have taken a greater self-actualizing. They are about the fulfilling of self much more than creating communial cohesion. But this is only a reflection of modern society…We, as individuals, are becoming more and more fragmented from each other… more digitized. We have greater access to an increasing number of people, but understanding of each other is primary in snippets. We have Facebook posts, and Skype chats. We have dinner parties and mutual hobbies. But though we “connect”, do we really? We all wear social faces and project images appropriate for the situation… but which image actually represents us? TRADITION SOCIETY Love and relationships, though exciting in of itself, has been encourage greatly in part to maintain societies. They were the hardened nucleus that society used to preserve itself, to evolve, and sometimes to absorb potential threats. All to often, we “throw the baby out with the bathwater”. We are quick to say that “the modern way” is best. LOVE CAN’T DEVELOP (Fast-food happiness) Faster, faster, faster the modern world is a blur. Our idea of love and relationships, have been changed as our livestyles have also changed. We create things faster and faster. Within a few years, complete homes which take months to build will be completed in 24 hours.I think that society has a certain wisdom that we as individuals lack. Love can develop, where once it was not. People are adaptable… so are our feelings. Most people, I believe, will adapt to a situation that they are put in. – When society told a person that if you pair (get married) with one person, you were stuck people adjusted to the situation. (Sometimes people’s feelings even “tricked” them into feeling that they were in love!)When a person feels like his choices are limited (and he is psychologically healthy) he will adapt to his situation and make the best of it. He will sometime even go far enough to find “bliss” is a less than ideal situation. – When society tells a person that you now have “infinite” choices and you can leave or stay in accordance to your (vacillating) feelings. The “choice” is now fully in our control, but it’s unbounded.
- How many humans make choices that they are 100% certain are correct?
I believe that an unbounded environment is unhealthy for us psychologically (and not just me, by the way). Personally, I have created social interaction “rules” with the explicit purpose of “creating boundaries.” I am convinced that happiness requires a person to believe that he or she has made the best possible choice. AND… IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE MADE THE BEST POSSIBLE CHOICE, WHEN YOUR CHOICES ARE INFINITE! CONCLUSION We are creatures of instinct as much (or maybe even more so) that we are creatures of intellect. All too often, I believe, we underestimate how much our instincts control our behavior. (Illusion of “free will” argument) Yes, love is powerful. It is an extremely powerful emotion… but not wild stallion which path is unalterable and unrestrainablebut rather if you get read it’s flow, compensate for it’s capricious nature, you can influence it’s direction. Final note – Don’t think just because a person the ability to analyze how he feels that it makes him less capable to be open to his feelings… less capable of have a depth to his emotions.